After this 30 minute fantasy of my perpetuating youth, I gave myself a shake. "Wait a minute! I am the mother here! I am Barbra Streisand. When did that happen?" It just reaffirmed that I have a bit of skewed perception of my age.
This movie spoke to me as a mother of a boy It is a different relationship than I have with my daughters. In
|Kevins' Favourite Book|
|Young Kevin and Young Mom|
So when Kevin was born, the Wells Family was a bit shocked. We just weren't really sure what to do with this little boy. His Auntie's found him to be quite a novelty. The O'Rourke family was not so thrown by the arrival of a grandson. Derek has 2 brothers, along with a sister, so a boy was not such a rarity. I know I spent the first few days of Kevin's life feeling smug that I had scored a boy and I felt somewhat sorry for those who had given birth to girls.
|Baby Kev - rocking that Speedo|
Bridget broke the tie and we accepted her despite the fact we had been assured by all who knew, that she would be a boy.
So I guess I understand what my mother has always said "you are just happy with the baby you have. You don't feel disappointed and want the baby down the hall instead."
Well, back to my Guilt Trip. Once I figured out that I was the mother on this road trip, I started watching dynamic between Barbra and her son. In comparison to my girls, I don't think I embarrass my Kevin the same way I embarrass my daughters. My fashion faux pas seem lost on him. He does not cringe when I wear my famous, self-proclaimed "trendy" fanny pack. He knows I am challenged with a tendency to " misplace" things, so a fanny pack is essential when I go anywhere with anything more than 1 car key. I think he understands this because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. However Kevin is growing out of this stage. He has yet to lose his ID, but I suspect this is because he needs it to buy beer.
For the most part I saw the everlasting drive to give advice to our adult children, regardless of their age. As children, it is appropriate to guide. It goes from "don't pick your nose" to "keep your manners in your pocket" to "two hands on the wheel" in a blink. Now as "adults" I try not to be heard too loudly. As a dear friend says "I neither promote nor discourage". "Mmm Hmmm" is my mantra. My children are at a point when they own their consequences, so I take a bit of a back seat now. However, I guess I sat back a bit too far with daughter #3, when I recently forgot to tell Bridget not to put a pot in the microwave.
I do not give fashion advice. How can I give fashion advice when I wear a fanny pack. All credibility is lost. I even took fashion cues from the girls, until Roots sweat pants were replaced with hip-hugging yoga pants. Now that is just not pretty. I have learned to say "you look great", unless my children's clothes are torn (unintentionally), visibly filthy or reveal parts of their body that are not supposed to be seen. I had to step up this morning though when Bridget was dressing for her first day as a Nanny. She looked pretty tanned and svelte and just a little too young and attractive. I explained that the last thing the mom or dad want is a hot looking Nanny. I suggested that she try a baggier shirt, with sleeves. I suggested that this was not the time to look fashionable. I suggested that she try to look a little frumpy and plain. Of course this was the point when Derek suggested that she should go look through my closet. No one has seen him since.
I completely enjoyed this movie. It was the kind of film that I thought about for a few days after. I am not suggesting that everyone would relate to it as I did. It made me contemplate my relationship with my adult children. I am pretty sure our road trips will be limited to Orangeville / Toronto for now. This is okay as I do not expect to have to travel across country in pursuit of The One that Got Away. After Derek's comment today, I hope he is sitting patiently, all tied up and waiting for me to call.